


That's How the Story Goes

by ladeedadaday



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Diary/Journal, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Healthy Veronica/J.D., Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Less psychotic J.D., No murder, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Smoking, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Smoking, protective veronica, yes it's out of character fuck you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 9,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25479346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladeedadaday/pseuds/ladeedadaday
Summary: Heathers but it's happier. It's still really dark, but there's less death.
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer, Heather Duke/Heather McNamara, Jason "J. D." Dean/Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 17
Kudos: 64





	1. September 1st, 1989

_Dear Diary,_

_September 1st, 1989._

_First day of senior year. Only one more year of suffering, and then we'll all be off to high school. I guess I'm excited to get it over with, but I'm really not looking forward to being eaten alive at the bottom of the food chain._

Veronica stumbled around in the hallway, eyes fixed on her diary. She heard a groan and that's when she looked up. 

"Martha, oh, I'm so sorry!" She cried, dropping to the ground to help Martha pick up her things. "Hey, are you okay? I'm really sorry about that." She handed a folder and a notebook to Martha, who smiled at her. 

"It's alright, Ronnie!" Martha said, chipperly, turning to place her things in her locker. "You know, you always apologize for everything," She pointed out.

Veronica knew this was true, it was on purpose. She was raised being told that everything was her fault and she needed to apologize for it. So even though that she logically knew that not everything was her fault, she still made the conscious decision to apologize for even the smallest mistakes. "Sorry... I mean, uh... I don't know." 

Martha just nodded. Then came an exclamation from a voice that made Veronica want to tear her limbs off and hit someone with them. "Martha Dumptruck, wide load! Hahaha!" Kurt and Ram came up behind to slap her book out of her hands. 

"Hey! Pick that up right now." Veronica said, stepping in between Martha and Ram. Goddammit, she was not going to let her best friend get hurt by two dicks for no reason whatsoever. Ram squints, kneels down to pick up the book, and promptly stands up to smack Veronica over the head with it. "Fuck you!" She says, just loud enough for Kurt and Ram to hear it, but not loud enough for the whole school to hear her curse. She slaps Ram across the face and knees Kurt in the groin before stomping on their toes, grabbing Martha's hand, and running off to class. 

"That was awesome, Veronica!" Martha laughed, squeezing Veronica's hand as the pair slowed down. "You're an amazing friend, by the way. Nobody else would ever do something like that for me." 

Veronica gave her a sad look for a moment, then headed into the classroom. She and Martha always sat next to each other, which meant Veronica was sitting behind a kid in a long, black, trench coat. _Odd, but I'm never gonna judge anyone for wearing what they want._

"You excited for senior year?" She asked Martha, the teacher not having begun quite yet. 

Martha shrugged just as the teacher walked in. 

* * *

Veronica felt a hand on her shoulder as the was just entering the bathroom. She turned her head to see Heather Chandler. Demon Queen of Westerburg High. The Mythic Bitch. The Almighty. "Yeah?"

"You know, you standing up to Kurt and Ram was pretty kickass today." Veronica immediately felt a wave of anxiety walk over. _Holy shit, THE Heathers are talking to me without slurring at me at all. Holy shit, this can't be happening._

"Um, thank you." She felt exposed, as if she was on display, like some attraction at a zoo. The way the Heathers were looking her up and down made her shift in her shoes, and she looked around nervously. 

Chandler stood behind her, teasingly running her nails up and down Veronica's neck, sending chills down her spine. "Aw, look at her... so sweet." Chandler whispered. 

The other two Heathers stepped closer to her. "It's a shame she's wearing such an ugly outfit." Heather... Uh, the yellow one, said. _McNamara, right?_

Duke spoke up. "She really could be so pretty," She did not appreciate that they were speaking about her as if she wasn't directly in front of her. "A little lipgloss, maybe?"

Chandler hummed. "Heather, lipstick, Heather, blazer and skirt. And Ronnie, strip." Her eyes widened to the size of silver dollars.

"Huh?" Heather rolled her eyes overdramatically and took Veronica's scarf from her neck. 

She twirled it around her fingers. "Is this okay with you? Is it okay for me to take your clothes off you?" Veronica nodded, unable to say a word. "I'm a bitch, but I really do care about consent. But we're not doing anything sexual." Veronica couldn't help but smile. Chandler slipped her jacket off her shoulders and handed her a bright blue blazer instead. "Heather, brush her hair. She'll like it." 

McNamara nods and she begins combing through Veronica's hair, who shivered. "Jeez, Veronica, touchstarved much?" She sighed shakily. 

"Okay, don't tease her." Chandler scolds, pulling off Veronica's skirt. Duke hands her the new, much skimpier, skirt, which she steps into. "Welcome, Veronica. We'll see you at lunch." She grins, exiting the bathroom. 

Veronica stares at herself in the mirror. _What the fuck?_


	2. I Made a Mistake

"I made a mistake,” Veronica said audibly, feeling everyone's eyes on her as she walked out of the bathroom and into the hallway in her new apparel. She tried to close herself off but no one could take their eyes off of her. 

"Hey, Veroni-- Huh?" Martha cut herself off, looking at Veronica's new outfit. "This is different." She nodded. "Did the Heathers give you this?" Veronica nodded again. "Wait, when did that happen? We just got out of class." 

Veronica cleared her throat before answering, clutching her diary to her chest. "Bathroom." 

Martha nodded. She could tell Veronica was no longer in the mood for much talking. This happened pretty often. Mostly when she was overwhelmed or anxious, she didn't want to say anything that she would regret later. "You don't wanna talk, huh?" She shook her head, looking down at her feet. "I can tell you're apologizing in your head." Veronica turned her head to look at Martha and smile. "Ronnie, you're overthinking way too much." She rolled her eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, you know I'm right." 

She smiled, nodded, and then they parted their way to head off to their next class. 

"Heather, make some room for Veronica," Chandler ordered, setting her lunch tray down on the table. Duke scooted to the end of the table. 

She started to pick at her salad. "Do you think she's gonna come?" Duke laughed. 

Chandler sighed, fiddling with Mac's hair. "She will if she knows what's good for her." Duke nodded. Chandler spotted Veronica from across the cafeteria and waved her over. "There she is. Veronica!" She hesitated a moment and turned to say something to Martha, before walking over briskly to the table. "Hey." 

Veronica said nothing, she just waved. "Are you mute or something?" Duke asked, to which she shook her head. "Then what's wrong with you, freak?" 

"Shut up, Heather!" Chandler yelled. "She's our friend now, and you're not gonna call her a freak!" Heather slumped her shoulders. "Veronica, sit." She nodded and obeyed. "So, why aren't you talking?" Veronica scribbled a note on a new piece of paper in her diary and tore it out to hand to Heather. "So I don't say anything stupid. I promise it only happens when I'm overwhelmed or anxious, it's not all the time, I'm really sorry." Chandler read aloud. "Okay. That's fine. We're going to the mall today, you coming with?" 

Veronica nodded. "Sweet," Mac said, grinning at her. Veronica returned the smile. "Heather's gonna drive." She furrowed her eyebrows. 

Chandler spoke up. "She means me. Although, now I see how that might be confusing." Veronica nodded shyly, looking down at her lap. 

"You don't have to be nervous around us, we want you here," Mac said, noticing how uneasy she was looking. 

"Told you guys we shouldn't have picked her, she's basically broken. Look at her," Duke laughed. "She can't even look at us." 

The fury in Heather's eyes was indescribable. She stood up and leaned over the table to get in Heather's face. "SHUT THE FUCK UP, HEATHER!" Veronica felt her breathing stop. _Holy shit. I actually can't breathe, I'm gonna die, what's happening to me?_ She gasped, but nothing came in. "Oh, God, Veronica!" 

"Please, I can't breathe..." She tried her hardest, but nothing substantial came in. Someone, she couldn't tell who through her tears, came in front of her and grabbed her hands. 

"Hey, Veronica, I need you to breathe through your nose, okay?" _Okay, so it was a guy. Probably not Kurt or Ram, but now it's time to focus on breathing._ She tried to breathe in through her nose, and it only half worked. "Good girl, try again." She did. Again, it only half worked. "Good. Again." This happened time and time again for maybe five minutes until it actually worked. "Good job, Veronica, you're doing so good. This time, do it again and hold it for a few seconds and then breathe through your mouth." She tried, but this time it only half worked. 

She shook her head. "I'm so sorry..." Her entire face was wet with tears and sweat, which she tried to wipe away. 

He shook his head in return. "Don't apologize, it's not your fault, just try it again." She couldn't do it. "That's okay, let's do something different." He said. The deep voice was oddly calming to her. It wasn't shrill and high pitched like the voices of the Heathers, it was soft and low and calm. "Do you think you can talk to me?" 

"Uh-uh." She mumbled, shakily, rubbing at her eyes again.

He thought for a moment. "Can I touch you?" Veronica nodded. She could feel someone wrapping their arms around her chest from the back. She leaned into the embrace. "There you go. It's going to be alright, this is temporary. This isn't gonna be for forever, you're gonna feel better soon." He whispered into her ear. She started to regain her breathing. "There you go! Good job, Veronica! You're doing really, really good." He brought his hand up to her head to comb his fingers through her hair. "Hey, Veronica?" She turned to look at him. "You did an incredible job, darling."

"Darling, huh?" He shrugged, grinning. She turned her body fully around so she could hug him. "That was terrifying."

He wrapped his arms around her waist. "I know. Has that ever happened to you before?" 

"No." He nodded. "Thank you, though. I'm sorry that you had to see that." 

He took his hands away from her waist and took her hands in his own. "Do not apologize for things that aren't your fault. You cannot control things like this, and I want you to know that you are so valid. You wouldn't expect an apology from someone else if this happened to them, right?" She shook her head. "Exactly. So no one's expecting anything from you, got it?" 

"Yeah, I'm--" He pressed his finger to her lips before she could apologize. "Right. Hey, I never caught your name." 

He smiled at her, teasingly, beginning to walk away. "I didn't throw it." 

Her mouth dropped open. "Veronica? You can stop drooling over him now." Heather teased. 

"Sorry." She bit her cheek. 

"Are you okay?" Mac asked. "That looked intense." Veronica shrugged. "You can always talk to me if you want to talk about that stuff." 

Veronica smiled. "Thanks, Heather."

Duke was giving Veronica a death glare, but she didn't care or notice. "Veronica, I'm sorry if that started because I yelled. I didn't mean to lose my shit like that." 

Veronica picked a tomato out of her salad and ate it. "No! It was just everything leading up to it that caused it. I think that probably tipped me over the edge though." Heather looked down, ashamed. "It's alright though, I'm good now." 

"That's good." She could tell that Veronica was blushing, even though she was looking down at her lap in an attempt to hide it. "Ooh, Veronica's crushing on the new kid!" 

Veronica couldn't even hold off a smile. "He's new? Must be why I like him. He's probably a dick though."

Heather shrugged. "Most dicks wouldn't help you without even knowing you first." Veronica raised her eyebrows. Heather was right. 

"You're right! Shit, today really isn't that bad!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: Veronica thinking, "I can't breathe, I'm gonna die," Was IN NO WAY intended to poke fun at the Black Lives Matter movement, it was simply intended to display how someone's brain typically works during an anxiety attack. I truly meant no harm by it, and hope it didn't come off that way.


	3. Pit Stop

"I'm making a pit stop!" Heather announced. "We're going to 7/11 before we go to the mall. I want Corn Nuts." Veronica laughed. She was allowed to sit in the front seat because she was new, but Heather told her that it would probably change. "You girls want anything?" 

"I could go for a Big Gulp." Veronica said, softly. Heather gave her a small smile. 

Duke shook her head. "Nothing for me," She sighed, looking out the window. 

Mac also shook her head, looking at Duke. "Nothing for me either." 

Chandler nodded and unbuckled her seat belt. "Veronica and I are just gonna go in then. We'll be back in five minutes." Veronica slid out of the passenger's side and followed Heather in. "You go grab whatever you want. I'll pay." 

Veronica's eyes widened in confusion. "Oh, no, I can pay." Heather shook her head, laughing. 

She stepped closer to whisper in her ear. "Oh, Veronica... Just do what I tell you to do. It makes things easier for both of us." 

Again, chills ran down her spine. _WHy am I turned on, what the fuck?_ "Shit, Heather..." She groaned. 

Heather giggled softly. "Are you actually turned on right now?" Veronica was chewing on her lip and didn't trust herself to say anything. "Answer me."

"No!" She squeaked. Veronica shuddered again as Heather combed through her hair with her fingers. Heather hummed. "Stop..." She immediately pulled her hands away. "I just wanted a big gulp." She said, softly.

Heather left her to go find Corn Nuts. Veronica looked down the aisle lined with chips and cheese puffs until she heard a different voice behind her. "Hey, you." 

It was the guy from before. "Oh, hi... What's your name? You never told me." 

He smiled. "I'll end the suspense." He extended his hand to her so she could shake it. "Jason Dean. J.D. for short." 

She took his hand. "Veronica Sawyer, but I'm guessing you know that already." 

He nodded. "You'd be correct, darling." He took a sip of his slushie and winced. "So, what're you here for?" 

"Big gulp." He looks at her, deeply offended and gasps. "What? Are you okay? Did I do something?"

He shook his head, looking incredibly disappointed. "Big gulps are inferior, love! Slushies are the signature dishes of the house! Are you crazy? Have you never had a slushie before?" She shrugged. "I am _begging_ you, try a slushie." She considered it and nodded. "Thank you!" He handed her his red slushie, which she took a sip of. 

Veronica shrugged again. "I don't really," Then she felt it. " _Oh, son of a bitch!_ " 

He just smiled at her. "Get it now?" 

"Fuck yeah!" She handed the slushie back to him. 

"Welcome to the dark side, Veronica Sawyer." He extended his hand once more, she took it once more, and this time, he dragged her to the slushie machine. "There you are," He said, handing her the cup he just filled up. "You feeling better after today?"

"Oh, yeah! Thanks for helping, by the way." He beamed. "Anyway, I gotta go because Heather's waiting for me so we can go to the mall." 

He gave her a salute and a grin and she walked over to the counter where Heather was already standing. "How come you took so long?"

"I was talking to J.D." Heather nodded, handing some cash over to the bored looking cashier. "Sorry I took so long though." 

Heather waved her off and grabbed her hand as they left the store. Heather knocked on the tinted window. "We're back, you can stop making out now." 

Veronica slipped into the passenger's seat. "Wait, you two are...?"

"Dating? Yep." Mac answered, holding up their intertwined hands. "You _are_ okay with that, right?" 

"Of course I am!" She glanced at Chandler nervously. "Yeah, no, it's fine, I just didn't know." 

The car started and the backed out of the parking lot. Veronica spotted J.D. smoking on his motorcycle. He saw her too and winked. "Veronica, you've already got it bad for the new kid!" Heather teased. 

"No, I don't!" 

_Yes, I do._


	4. You Have My Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: DISCUSSION OF SELF-HARM AND IMPLIED CHILD ABUSE.

Veronica sighed as she flopped onto her bed after changing out of her ‘Heather clothes’ into more comfortable pajamas, a sweater and some loose pants. She reached over to her nightstand to grab her diary and pen so she could pour all her thoughts into her notebook. 

_Dear Diary,_

_I survived the first day of senior year. I'm friends with the Heathers now. Also Mac and Duke are dating. And I think Heather likes me. I like her but I also like J.D. He's so much nicer than all the other guys at Westerburg. And he's really funny, and he helped me even though he'd never met me before. But Heather... she's fucking hot. And really sweet. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?_

_I'm gonna sleep and then think about this more tomorrow._

_Good night. I don't know why I'm writing this as if you were a person and could hear me. You're an object._

Just as she closed her diary, the window opened. "Dreadful etiquette, I apologize. Just wanted to see you." 

"That's okay." She laughed. Veronica stood up to help him in through the window. "Uh, how did you find where I live?" 

He chuckled. "Well, I live right across the street and I was parking right when Heather dropped you off." Veronica said, a hint of a frown on her face as she hid her diary and returned to sitting on her bed. “I figured I’d come over and say hi.” She let her head hit the pillow. 

“Okay.” She said quietly. “Sorry, I’m really tired.” Veronica turned on her side to face him. 

He gave her a look before reaching out to play with her hair. “No more apologizing for things that aren’t your fault, okay, darling?” _This is so weird, I’m never like this._ He wondered. _There’s something special about this girl._

Veronica debated telling him the truth for with the different versions of herself in her head. “Just how I was raised, it’s an instinct. I really don’t mean to do it, but I always had to apologize for little things when I was growing up, and now I can’t help it.” 

He sighs. “Veronica, I’ve got a question for you. And you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to, but it’s been kinda worrying me,” J.D. explained. 

“Go ahead.” She welcomed, apparently ready for any discussion. “I’ll probably answer.” 

He bit his lip, visibly anxious. “I wasn’t being creepy, I swear, but when during lunch, I noticed that you’ve got a bunch of scars on your legs, and I just wanted to know, what’re they from?” 

She sat up. “Just please don’t be mad—“ He cut her off.

“Shh... Veronica, darling, I promise that I am never going to judge you for anything other than the fact that you lived most of your life ignoring the _beauty_ of slushies.” She laughed softly. He cupped her face in his hands. “So, if you aren’t comfortable, I’m never going to make you tell me anything.” He kissed her forehead and made eye contact with her to make sure she was okay with it. 

”I wanna tell you, you just can’t be mad at me. Promise?” She stuck out her pinky. J.D. laughed but stuck his pinky out and shook hers. “It’s probably clear that I made them, um... I just don’t know how to cope with anything. I started my diary and that helps, and I’m sure people will start to back off now that I’m friends with the Heathers... I don’t know, I don’t even have real problems, I shouldn’t complain.” 

J.D. held Veronica’s hands and squeezed them. “Veronica, your problems may not be as bad as other people’s problems, but that doesn’t mean they’re not valid. I’ve got my own problems, you have yours, Heather does, uh, Heather does, and Heather does, we all do.” _Jesus Christ, there_ _really_ is something _about this girl that makes me like this._ “Hey, c’mere,” He pulled her off the bed and opened his arms for her to step into, which she did. "It's gonna be okay." 

"It really doesn't feel like it. Hey, J.D.?" He raised his eyebrows, hopefully showing that he was listening. "There's more." She rolled up the sleeves of her sweater, and her arms were littered with thin, white lines. Some of them were clearly recent, evident by the fact that they were scabbed over. "Promise me you won't tell anyone." 

He solemnly nodded. "You have my word. I... I'm not sure what to say." 

She sat down on the edge of her bed. "You don't _have_ to say anything. We can talk about something else." 

"Okay... so I assume you're pretty smart?" He noted, looking at the punctuation handles on her drawers. 

Veronica shook her head, laughing. "Nah, not really. I mean, I've got good grades and shit, fucking incredible grades, one might say." J.D. snorted. "However, it's because I'm terrified of disappointing my parents - my mother, really - so I work really hard so she doesn't get upset with me." He hummed. 

"I get that. My father's kinda the same, but he's more aggressive for no reason. I work hard because I don't want that to add to... everything else." She looked down at her lap, clearly she picked up on what he was implying. Veronica gently grabbed his hand and rested her head on his shoulder. He laughed quietly. "Tired, love?" She hummed. "Alright, I'll get going then." 

She grabbed onto his jacket. "Stay?" She requested. 

He thought about it for a moment. "Dad might come home... eh, fuck him. Alright." She grinned sleepily. "Sleep!" 

Veronica's mother was in for quite a shock.


	5. I Know it Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: HOMOPHOBIC SLURS

"Veronica Sawyer! What in God's name do you think you're doing?" Her mother shrieked ath the sight of Veronica and J.D. on the bed together. “Explain yourself, right now!”

She shot up. “Mom, he’s just my friend, we’re not—!” 

“Uh-huh, you really expect me to believe that?” She said, a hand on her hip. “Veronica, you’re not supposed to go sleeping around with guys like a cheap whore. You’re supposed to save yourself for a decent man.” 

Veronica sighed. “What if I don’t want a man, mom?” She was almost positive that her mother’s eyes were about to pop out of her head. “Is that not okay?”

“I did _not_ raise a dyke.” Veronica winced, and J.D. squeezed her hand.

“No, I’m not, I just, I don’t just like girls...” She bit her lip to stop herself from digging a deeper hole than she already had. 

Her mother rolled her eyes. “So what am I supposed to believe, Veronica? Are you a dyke or are you just a slut?” 

J.D. sat up now, too, at the sight of tears in Veronica’s eyes. “Excuse me, but it’s _not_ okay to slur at your daughter like that.” He pulled Veronica to her chest, where she buried her face to hide from her mother. “She’s a human being. She deserves a little bit of respect, alright?” 

“She deserves _nothing!”_ (Abby who?) Her mother yelled. “She’s my daughter, who are you to tell me how to raise my child?” 

He shrugged. “You’re right. She’s not my daughter. But I _am_ somebody who _actually_ cares about her. And you shouldn’t be treating her like shit. People at school already do that enough, she doesn’t need it from you, too.” Her mother was speechless. She didn’t have a way to fight back, so she simply left the room. Veronica let out an audible sob. “I know it hurts,” He whispered. 

“This fucking sucks.” She cried. He rubbed her back to help calm her. 

“You wanna try sleeping again?” At Veronica’s nod, the pair laid down and stared at the ceiling until they eventually fell asleep.


	6. *blushes profusely*

The next morning, Veronica rolled over and saw J.D. next to her. He looked calm, the same expression he wore when talking to Veronica about more serious subjects. She missed the teasing smile and the glimmer in his eye, but she also adored that a facial expression could make her feel so safe. "Wake up, J.D." She whispered, running her fingers through his hair. "We have to go to school." 

He groaned softly, leaning into her touch. Turning to face Veronica, eyes barely open, he asked, "Are you sure we can't just stay here?" 

She snickered. "I wish. But I don't think my mom would like that. Neither would the Heathers." 

"Ah, right. Veronica's big and scary now." He teased. Veronica rolled her eyes, throwing the covers off of them. 

"I'm gonna go change. I'm pretty sure I just have to wear something blue." She said, not completely certain. "I'm gonna text Heather." She decided out loud, heading to her dresser. "She said yes!" Veronica announced.

J.D. smiled, rolling his eyes. "Good to know, darling." She grinned at him. "And I assume you like the color blue?" She nodded. He stored the information for later. "Noted, uh do you want me to look away or something?" 

"I'm gonna change in the bathroom." She laughed. "We can drop by your house so you can grab your stuff." Veronica grinned at him. 

He couldn't help but smile back, her grin was infectious. "You're such a dork, Veronica." She shrugged, shooting him finger guns before exiting dramatically. 

_Fuck, she's adorable._ "Veronica, breakfast!" Her father yelled. 

"I'm not hungry!" He heard Veronica call. Her footsteps grew louder. "Hey." She said, quietly. "You alright?" Veronica asked, seemingly noticing how zoned out he looked. He hummed. She raised her eyebrows. "J.D.? You good?" 

He snapped back to reality immediately. "Oh, yeah." 

"Can I kiss you?" She blurted abruptly. He tried to not let the shock show on his face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, that was dumb." 

He frantically should his head. "No, no! I'm not uncomfortable at all, I just didn't expect that from you. At all." 

"So can I?" She asked, nervously. He nodded, smiling. "Um, I don't know how to..." She took a seat next to him on the bed. "I've never done this before," She whispered. "I don't want to mess it up." Now, J.D. had his fair experience with kissing, but he didn't consider himself an expert. However, he figured that he could lead this, considering Veronica was brand new to this idea. "You're thinking too much." 

She can feel a panic rising in her, and she tries to tell it that it's just J.D. _He wants you to be comfortable, and he's not going to judge you. He won't tease you, he won't be upset with you, it's okay._ "Do you wanna just... try it?" Veronica nodded. "Okay. Um, let's stand?" They do. "Can I touch your waist?" He mentally kicks himself for not asking for her permission before touching her face earlier. 

"Yeah." She says. He places her hand on her waist, pulling her closer to him. She wraps her arms around his neck, letting out a shuddering breath. "You're too tall," She complained. 

"Mmm, I'm sorry, darling, but that's just how it is." He whispered, feeling the fabric of her cardigan under his fingers. "You're in charge here, okay? This can happen whenever you're ready." 

Veronica confronted her thoughts for a moment. Her stomach was twisting in knots. She absolutely wanted her first kiss to be with J.D, but she didn't want to leave him disappointed. _Better go for it than never see what happens, right?_ "Okay... J.D, I'm scared." 

"How come?"

She looked down at her shoes. "I know I'll probably like it, but I want you to like it, and I don't know if I can do that." 

He nods in understanding. "Veronica, you're never gonna know what'll happen until it happens." 

And then right away, she pulls him down for a kiss. _Holy shit, this is incredible._ She could feel his light touches on her waist, on her back, on her head, and holy hell it felt amazing. She tangled her hands in his hair. He let out a quiet moan as she tugged on his hair, hoping she didn't notice. 

Veronica pulled back first. "That's was fucking _incredible_. And now we actually have to go to school." Veronica sighed, taking her hands away from his head. 

"You're sure that you've never kissed anyone before? I think I'm in shock." She laughed, taking his hand and leading him down the stairs. 

"We're leaving, see you at three!" Veronica yelled, opening the door and heading out, J.D. following closely behind. "Alright, let's go grab your stuff." He nods. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kind of a weird place to end this chapter, but it's 2 am and I'm tired. More coming tomorrow! (Today?)


	7. I Didn’t Want You to See This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: SELF HARM, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

In her defense, Veronica had only been popular for a day. Which meant that anything she now did wouldn’t go unnoticed. Which meant everyone noticed when she held hands with J.D. in the hall, or when she laughed louder than anyone else at J.D’s jokes in class, or when she genuinely felt sad that she couldn’t go sit with him at lunch.

"I'll see you later," He said, squeezing her hand before he walked to his table.

The Heathers waved her over again. "Hey, Veronica!" Mac greeted, cheerfully. "How were your classes this morning?" She shrugged. "Oh, sorry, not up for talking right now?" She took Veronica's silence as a yes.

Veronica took a sip of her water, and Duke asked, "So, did you hook up with trench coat kid?" Veronica spit out her water and laughed.

"God, Heather, why'd you even ask that? Not everyone's a slut like you, fucking idiot." She looked down at her lap. "Ronnie, I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable." 

Veronica just kept laughing, shaking her head. "Heather, I only had my first kiss this morning!" Heather joined her in her laughter. 

"No. Way." Mac said, clearly in disbelief. "Actually?" Veronica nodded, trying to calm her laughter. "Aw, that's so sweet!" 

Chandler fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat. "So are you two, like, dating now?" 

Veronica shrugged. "I don't really know, honestly. We didn't talk about it 'cause we had to leave." Heather nodded. "How're you guys?"

"I was a lot better before you showed up," Duke mumbled, hoping Veronica didn't catch it.

"Heather..." Chandler warned. "She's one of us now, be nice to her." And that's how Veronica knew Chandler actually cared. She never let Duke tease Mac because she was her friend. And now... Veronica was one of them, too. She wasn't ever going to have to worry about being teased again. "Veronica, I love your outfit." She laughed, for she had bought it for her the day before. 

* * *

She knew she shouldn't have gone to the bathroom alone, especially when Kurt and Ram had a score to settle. But even then, she never expected to hear Kurt yell, "Grab her arms!" The moment she exited the bathroom. She didn't expect them to tear open her shirt in the middle of the hallway. She didn't expect her classmates to laugh and point at her. And she certainly didn't expect _HEATHER CHANDLER_ to pull them off her. 

"You need to get to class, to somewhere, right now." Heather said, helping her to her feet. 

Veronica pulled her shirt together and ran a fast as she could, shoving her way through the crowd of students. She could hear Kurt and Ram screaming faintly, but her heartbeat was much more present in her ears than that. "Veronica!" She could hear someone call. The voice came closer. "Veronica, are you okay?" She felt her back hit the wall.

"J.D.?" She said, leaning forward so he'd hold her.

"It's me." He confirmed, wrapping his arms around her torso. "I'm sorry, darling. If it makes you feel better, I got in a few good punches, and Heather's still not done." She laughed wetly. "She said to go to her locker and find a spare shirt." Veronica made no move. "Or we can stay here for a little longer. That sound better?" 

She squeezed him tighter. "Yeah." 

"Okay," He said, reaching a hand up to stroke her hair. "I'm really sorry that happened to you. They're assholes and you didn't deserve that." Veronica sighed loudly. "Let's go find you a new shirt, huh?" 

* * *

Veronica shut the door to the bathroom behind her, her brain slowly catching up on everything that happened during the day. "Dear Diary..." She whispered, to help her focus on her thoughts. "Today, I kissed J.D, Kurt and Ram attacked me, and now I'm wearing Heather's shirt. And my head hurts. And I feel numb." She murmured, reaching to open the bathroom cabinet, reaching for a razor blade. It felt right in her hand. One thing she could finally control. She rolled up her sleeve and quickly ran the blade along her arm. 

She could actually feel it. And it felt amazing. There was something so rewarding about seeing the blood drip down her arm. That bliss lasted for a moment before a knock came at the door. "Hey, Ronnie, dear, your friend is here." 

"I'll be out in a minute!" She called. Quickly, she rolled down her sleeve and hid the blade back in the cabinet. She walked back to her room and saw J.D. sitting on her bed. "Hey."

"Hi. Just wanted to check on how you're doing. Today was rough." 

"Oh, okay. I'm fine." He gave her a pointed look. "What?" 

He sighed. "You're bleeding, love. Give me your arm, Veronica." She looked down at the ground but could still feel his eyes on her. "Veronica, please?" Without looking up, she rolled up her sleeve to reveal her bleeding arm. "Darling..." Veronica took a seat on her bed next to him. He clutched her hand, rubbing his thumbs over the back of her hand. "This isn't okay, hon." 

"I know." She whispered. "I didn't want you to see this."

J.D. took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm really worried this is gonna end... badly." He let go of her hand to hold her face in his hands. "I don't want the world to lose you." _I don't want to lose you._ "You're too amazing." _I'm already in love with you._ "Just... tell me if you ever feel like this. I want to be here for you."

"I'm so tired." He leans forward to kiss her forehead, the kisses eventually trailing down to her neck. A small moan came from the back of her throat. "J.D... Fuck, stop." He pulled away. "I wanna sleep." 

_I'll be here. I always will._


	8. And Then it Happened

"Veronica, wake up." J.D. said softly. "You gotta go eat dinner, darling." Her eyes fluttered open, and J.D. did everything he could to stop swooning. _She's just so perfect, and sweet, and god, she's the nicest person I've ever met..._ "Veronica, come on," He pushed. 

"I'm not hungry." She sighed, rolling herself over, her face buried in the blue pillows on her bed. "Why are you still here?"

He shrugged, rubbing his hand around her back. "Didn't feel right leaving you. I wasn't just, like, watching you or anything. I brought a book."

"Okay." She yawned. "Do you wanna stay for dinner?" 

After a quick internal debate and a small wrestling match, he decided, "If that's okay with you, I'd love to." 

* * *

"So, J.D. was it?" He nodded. "When did you move here?"

He thought for a moment. "About four days ago." Her mother raised her eyebrows. 

"Oh, wow. You travel a lot?" J.D. nodded in confirmation. "Why?"

He swallowed a bite of food. "Sorry, my dad's work." Her mother nodded. 

She took another bite of her spaghetti. "What about your mom?"

He looked down at his lap, biting his lip. "She, um, she's dead." Veronica looked up at him abruptly. He looked over to her, his breathing turning a bit shaky.

"Oh, really? How did she die?" She was having a hard time believing that her mother could actually be so insensitive. 

He played with his fingers in a desperate attempt to distract himself. "Uh, she... killed herself." 

Her mother's eyes widened. "Oh, how selfish!" Veronica could see J.D. physically cringe, and she felt like doing the exact same thing. "How do you know Veronica?" Veronica's mother interrogated. 

Veronica noticed that J.D. was sweating, looking as if he was in a panic caused by her mother's constant questioning. "School. Mom, you can stop interrogating him now, okay?" 

"No, I'm allowed to do this, Veronica." Her mom insisted. "What are you planning on doing at school?" 

J.D. reached under the table for Veronica's hand, which she gladly let him hold. "I, um... I don't really know." 

She shook her head, disappointed. "Really? You're a senior. No offense, but you need to get your crap together." She could see tears welling up in his eyes.

And then Veronica broke. "Would you just back off him? He doesn't have to know! He's probably trying to adjust to living in a new place, and you're clearly making him super anxious and upset, so would you just leave him alone?" 

"Veronica Sawyer! That is no way to speak to your mother!" Her mother shouted, standing up, clearly putting all of her willpower towards not smacking Veronica right then and there. "Listen to me, young lady, I really do think you need a lesson in attitude." 

She had no comeback for that. "Ronnie, it's fine, it doesn't matter." 

"No, J.D., it does matter. Your feelings fucking matter, okay? She's being so incredibly rude to you, and I won't let it happen! You're horrible, how could you say any of this shit?" And then it happened. Veronica was slapped. "Fuck you." She whispered, clutching her face, biting her lip to focus on not crying. 

J.D. helped her out of her chair, and took her upstairs. "Veronica, love, I'm so sorry." He gently stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I'm sorry that happened to you, it was all my fault." 

She shook her head, laying back on her bed. "No, shut up, I'm not letting you blame yourself for that. It is _not_ your fault, J.D. I was the one who pissed her off. And I'm so sorry that she was making you upset." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer so she could rest her head on his chest. They stayed like that, listening to each other's breathing, peacefully. "What's with all the pet names?" 

"Oh, sorry, do you not like them? I can stop, I promise--" 

She laughed, "Shh, no, I love them. They actually make me really happy, I just wanted to know why." 

He thought for a moment. "It kinda felt natural. They really just suit you." 

"Okay." She sighed. "I'm sorry."

He kissed the top of her head. "You apologize too much. We should work on that." She smiled when he said 'we.' 

"I'd like that. A lot." She pulled herself up closer to his face to kiss him. "Mmm..." He smiled into the kiss, feeling as though his lips were burning, but in the best possible way. She was the one the pulled away first. "I'm really tired." 

"Okay, I'll be here."


	9. The One Where Veronica is a Bisexual Disaster

"Morning, Veronica." Heather greeted as Veronica slipped into her car. "What's up with the bruise on your face?" 

She shifted uncomfortably. "Um, my mom hit me at dinner yesterday. But it's not a big deal!" She added, quickly. "I had J.D. over for dinner, cause he came to check on me, and my mom wouldn't back off him, so I yelled at her. And then she hit me." 

"Veronica, that is not okay." Heather said, forcefully. "You're gonna tell me if it happens again." 

She played with the hem of her skirt. "Okay." Heather raised her eyebrows. "I will, I promise." She smiled. 

"We don't have to tell Heather and Heather, but they'd both be supportive if we did. Well, Heather would, anyway." Veronica was left in confusion. 

* * *

Heather exited the car first, Veronica staying behind for a moment in an attempt to gather the strength to stand up. Before they went into the school, Heather quickly kissed Veronica before flouncing away and into the front door right away. 

"What...?" _Get your shit together, Veronica. That was weird, but you know what? Think about it later. Stop with the gay shit._ She shuddered, following Heather into the school. "Heather!" 

"Shh, you're not gonna say anything about this." Heather said, pressing a finger to her lips. "Got it?" 

"Yeah." Veronica promised, feeling her muscles tense.

Veronica spotted J.D. sitting on a floor, reading a book. He looked up and smiled when he saw her. "Hey. You still doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Promise?" Veronica stuck out her pinky finger, grinning. He shook it, grinning just as wide as she was. J.D. stood up, slipping an arm around her waist.

"Ooh, this is new." Veronica stated, teasingly.

He smiled, kissing her forehead. "First time for everything, darling." Veronica giggled, actually giggled, and that's when she realized J.D. really was special. She hadn't ever giggled before today. He brought his fingers up to her cheek and lightly ran his fingers over her bruise, feeling terrible immediately as she flinched. "I don't like this." 

She shrugged it off, making her way to her locker. "It's gonna be fine. She just lost control of her temper." 

"Yeah, but she shouldn't have hit you. That's abuse. I don't want you getting hurt," _Like me,_ He could've added. But he didn't. 

Veronica felt an emotion she'd never felt before. Everything suddenly felt real. Like everything else in her life was just a dream. "I'm turning eighteen soon. Going to college soon. If she does it again, I'll tell you. Heather made me promise the same thing. But I don't think it's going to happen again." She promised, even though she wasn't sure how to completely appease him. 

He nodded, sighing. She squeezed his hand. "You come to me right away if anyone ever hurts you again, okay?" 

"I will. You won't hurt them back, though, will you?"

He smirked. "No promises." Veronica glared, it clearly not being the time for joking. "Joking, love." 

She held his gaze for a moment before breaking it to throw her books in her locker. "Okay..." 

"So what's up with you and Heather?" He asked, shocking her completely.

 _How am I supposed to answer this?_ "Uh, what do you mean?"

He chuckled softly. "I saw her kiss you." Her eyes widened. "No, no! I'm not mad. I just wanted to know. You don't have to answer, it's okay."

She visibly relaxed. "To be honest, I'm not sure. That just kinda... came out of nowhere. I certainly didn't expect it." 

"Really? 'Cause, from what I've seen, she's been eyeing you like she wants to jump your bones for forever." He teased. She playfully shoved his chest, smiling up at him. 

"I guess she _was_ really insistent about me stripping in front of her rather than letting me change in a stall..." She realized. 

J.D. seemed pretty uncomfortable. "Wait, really? Were you okay with that or did she make you uncomfortable?" 

Veronica laughed, finding humor in a situation J.D. found extremely serious. "It's fine, girls change in front of each other all the time. I'm assuming guys don't do that because they're afraid of being called gay?" He nodded. "That's so stupid." He nodded again. "Are you listening to me?" A nod. "Pandas are blue." 

"The fuck?" The pair laughed. "I was paying attention, you just kept saying things that I said yes to!" He said, defensively. 

"It's okay! I was just teasing, babe."

He was beaming. "Babe?" 

She matched his smile. "It fits you well." 


	10. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Attempted (?) r*pe

Veronica absolutely did not expect the call from Heather McNamara that night. "Hey, Veronica? Could you come to the cemetery? It's an emergency."

"Okay." She said, hoping to hide the evident panic in her voice.

She rushed to the cemetery, only to find two drunk boys. Two drunk, horny, very handsy, _very_ touchy boys. "Heyyyy, 'Ronica. I waited ten whole beers for you." He grabbed her ankle as she was making an attempt to scurry away, tripping her. 

"Ow, get off me!" She cried as his hands traveled their way up her body, landing on her breasts, making her go pale. She felt her throat go dry and couldn't make herself say anything. 

"Ever since Heather put you in that skirt, I've wanted to tear it off you." His voice wasn't seductive, not like J.D's when he'd tease her, it was almost like an imitation of that, a really bad one. He reached down to the waistband of her skirt, tugging on it, and Veronica knew she wasn't strong enough to fight against it. 

Then Ram came along. He held her arms back and groped her breasts, tearing open her blazer and then her shirt. She couldn't do anything but cry and send pleading looks over to Heather and Heather. Mac sent her back a pitying look, Duke rolled her eyes and mouthed to her 'stop crying, slut.' "God, Veronica, you might actually enjoy it if you'd stop crying." 

"Please..." She begged, pulling her arms back, finding his grip was too tight for her to escape. "I have a boyfriend, please stop it! Get off me!" Kurt rolled his eyes and tore off her skirt, biting her inner thighs. "No!" She yelled, kneeing him in the face. Veronica planted her feet on the ground, pulling herself free from Ram's grasp. "Fuck you guys." She spat at Heather and Heather, running off, her skirt completely forgotten. 

_J.D. I should go to J.D_. Veronica ran home, slipping in through the back door, and making her way silently up to her room. She tossed on an over sized shirt, one she wore when she wasn't feeling the greatest about her body, along with some baggy pajama pants.

Immediately after, she dialed his phone number. Immediately, he picked up. "Veronica? Are you okay?"

"No." Veronica whimpered. 

"I'm coming over right now." 

* * *

As soon as he slid in through the window, he held her shuddering, sobbing figure in his arms, her face buried in his chest. "God, Veronica, what did they do to you?" 

She looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes, shaking her head. "I can't..." J.D. nodded, making an effort to understand. 

"Did they touch you?" Veronica nodded, looking away from him and at the clock on her wall. He felt a sudden burst of overwhelming anger as he clutched her to his chest. "Veronica... I'm so sorry, love. Okay, I think we both need to breathe, huh?" He led her to the bed, never forcing her down, smiling softly as she flopped onto it. "Can I touch you?" 

"Yeah," She confirmed, so he did. He brought her to his side, gently swiping away her tears with his thumb. "They... they took my skirt off me," She admitted. There was that rush of anger again. "Please, don't get mad. It was terrible, but it doesn't help." He nodded, breathing like a teacher in one of his old schools had told him to. "There you go, good." And that's when the guilt hit him. Veronica had just experienced something terrible, and she was helping him? He was the one that was supposed to be strong. 

He continued the steady breathing, and along with feeling Veronica's smooth skin underneath his fingers, he was able to calm down. "I'm sorry, I just can't stand the thought of anyone doing that to you." 

"Okay, don't be mad. Actually, you can feel however you want, but if you're mad, squeeze my hand." J.D. nodded, he could do that for her. "Heather and Heather were there, on a double date with Kurt and Ram, except Heather and Heather are dating and went just for the sake of their social image. Somehow, Kurt and Ram got drunk, and because they didn't want to get raped, they called me so that Kurt and Ram would rape me instead of them." He squeezed her hand, tighter and tighter. "They just watched me from the locked car. They wouldn't let me in." Veronica said, wincing as she recalled the painful memories.

"This is not okay." 


	11. Woah, Heather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of s*xual a*sault

Veronica did not expect to hear everyone whispering about her. She approached the Heathers. "Oh, hey guys! Still waiting on that apology from you two for being two ice cold bitches last night." 

Chandler turned her head, eyebrows furrowed. "Veronica, whatever do you mean?"

"You need to stop worrying about us, and start worrying about your reputation." Duke interrupted, earning a death glare from Heather. "Kurt and Ram have been telling the whole school about your little threeway last night." Heather's eyebrows became a part of her hairline. 

"Threeway, huh?" She said, trying to keep her poised tone like usual. 

"No, no! Nothing consensual happened, I promise, Heather. God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for you to hear like this!" Veronica said frantically, grabbing Heather's hand. "I promise, it's fine, they were just drunk, it's my fault, alright?" Heather squeezed Veronica's hand, looking her directly in the eyes. Veronica had never seen this amount of passion in anybody's eyes before. J.D. came close, but not even he had ever matched this intensity.

Heather let go of her hand and grabbed her biceps. "Veronica, I want you to answer me honestly, can you do that?" Veronica nodded slowly. "Thank you. Did they touch you without your consent?" A nod. "Did they take any of your clothes off you without your consent?" Another nod. "Did they... you know, go further?" She shook her head. "Okay. I'll be right back. They're _dead_." 

Veronica always thought she was scared of Heather Chandler, but that was so far from how she was feeling as she watched Heather strut up to Kurt and Ram and start yelling. "Woah, Heather, it's okay!" 

"No, it's fucking not, Veronica! These fucking douchebag, dickwad, assholes fucking assaulted you and that's not fucking okay!" She said, kicking Ram's shin. 

Veronica pulled Heather back. "I know, but you know what? Physically assaulting them doesn't make it better. It won't make you feel better either. Just breathe and think about why you're angry."

She shuddered. "I'm angry because they touched you without your permission." 

"Good. Breathe for me." Veronica instructed, taking Heather's hand. "There you go. You're doing really good." She praised. "Great job, Heather."

"And I'm angry because Heather and Heather didn't do anything to help you or stop them." She said, noticing Duke and Mac watching. She pulled her hand from Veronica's grasp. "What is wrong with you two? You just let that happen to her?"

Duke scoffed. "The little whore could've enjoyed it if she wasn't crying the whole time." 

Heather looked back at Veronica in horror. "Heather, please..." Veronica begged, tearing up. 

Seeing the pain in Veronica's eyes, she finally snapped out of her angry state. "Veronica, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I didn't know this was happening, I would've stopped it... I'm so sorry!" 

"No, Heather, it's not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You didn't know, it's not your fault." She promised, delicately holding Heather's face in her hands. "Heather. Listen to me. I do not blame you. This couldn't have been avoided. And it's okay. Don't beat yourself up about it. Are you listening?" She nodded. "Okay. And you aren't going to beat yourself up about it, right?" Heather bit her lip. "Heather, please." 

"I won't. I promise." Veronica smiled. Heather would do _anything_ for that smile. "I need a hug." Which Veronica gladly gave her. 

"Things are gonna be okay." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, they really do make my day <3
> 
> if there's anything you'd like me to put in future chapters, please let me know!


	12. Look Who's Talking

"Hey, Ronnie, you wanna invite your friend J.D. to sit with us at lunch today?" Heather asked, walking to class alongside Veronica.

She hummed. "I'll ask, I don't know if he'd want to." Heather nodded, smiling. "Why are you looking at me like that?" 

"You like him," Heather teased in a sing song voice, gently poking Veronica's arm. "Tell me about him!" 

Veronica blushed, a smile creeping onto her face. "Well, he's really sweet. Obsessed with slushies. Really protective. Lives across the street from me. He reads a lot." She said, listing off... really everything she knew about J.D. "Huh, I guess I don't know that much about him. It just feels like we've been friends forever." 

Heather grinned. "Aww, you really like him!" Veronica laughed; she wasn't one to deny the truth. "You wanna ditch and come back for lunch?" 

Veronica considered it for a moment. "Uh... okay." Heather smiled, linking her arm with Veronica's, pulling her out to the car. "Where are we going?"

"Let's go see a movie!" Heather proposed. 

* * *

_Look Who's Talking_ with John Travolta was the movie Heather picked. And honestly? Veronica didn't hate it. But the best thing about it was that Heather let Veronica rest her head on her shoulder. It felt incredible, just having that physical contact with someone. And what was even better was when Heather brought her hand up to play with Veronica's hair. She didn't mind the stares they got, or the judging looks from middle aged mothers. She was just happy to be in the moment.

The movie ended, Veronica still chewing away at some licorice, Heather finishing off her soda. "That was fun. And not a bad movie. We're gonna have to head back now, though." 

"Alright fine." 

"You're not gonna be hungry for lunch since you at all of that licorice." Heather pointed out. Veronica shrugged, and pulled herself out of the seat.

”Worth it!” Veronica laughed.

* * *

”Woah, woah, break it up!” Veronica heard a teacher shout as she and Heather reentered the school.

J.D. was knocked out and bleeding. Kurt and Ram were running down the hallway. The other Heathers were laughing. "What the fuck happened here?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, they really do make my day <3
> 
> if there's anything you'd like me to put in future chapters, please let me know!


	13. Get Back Here!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Homophobic slur, Child abuse

"What happened?" Veronica asked, bursting through the door of the nurses office. "J.D, what did they do?" He was sitting on a cot with an ice pack over is eye.

"I'm really sorry, Veronica. I really thought I was stronger than them." He chuckled darkly. "Clearly, I'm not." She sat down next to him, grabbing his hand and looking straight forward. 

"I think you know what I meant when I asked what happened." She stated simply.

He sighed. "I got into a fight with Kurt and Ram. That's it." Veronica's gaze slowly wore him down. "They were saying stuff about you, and um, I got mad. I tried to breathe through it or whatever, but they just kept going and I couldn't get over it." She nodded, studying his face. She couldn't figure out exactly what expression he was making. Somewhat a grimace, somewhat a remorseful look. "What?" 

"Nothing. What were they saying about me?" He bit his lip, clenching his fist. "Hey, J.D? It's okay. It doesn't hurt that much anymore, I've heard it all before." 

He took in a shaky breath before quickly answering, "Theycalledyouawhoreoverandoverandsaidthatifyoudidn'tlikeityoumustbeadyke and I'msosorryIknowIpromisedthatIwouldn'tdothis!" She carefully wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder. "Are you mad at me?" 

"No. I'm not mad. Not upset either. And I don't currently have any negative feelings towards you." Veronica said, quietly, but making sure he heard it to not worry him. "I'm just kind of thinking. But I'm not mad at you." She promised. He nodded. She gently poked his shoulder. "You're tense as fuck. You need to relax." 

He slouched a bit, making Veronica laugh softly. "I can't stop hearing it. You fucking killed her, your fault, your fault, your fault. She's gone and you coulda stopped it. Gone. She's gone, she won't come back. Dead. Dead. Your fault, why did you do it? You can't save her." He was whispering, lost in his own head. 

"J.D? Hey, babe, I need you to come back to Earth for me. Can you hear me in there?" She squeezed his hand tight and hoped he'd register it. "What's happening to you?" 

* * *

He was trapped in one of his memories. His dad was drunk and yelling at him. Again. 

"It's your fault she's gone!" _No, no, no._ He was crying. He hated crying because his dad teased him about it and told him that only girls cry. "You coulda saved her. Could've told me that she was in there." 

He tried to choke back his tears as he responded. "I didn't know she was gonna 'til she did!" 

But before his father could hit him again, he was tugged out of the memory and brought back into the present. 

"Oh, hi." 

"You were doing that for an hour." Veronica said, panic evident in her voice.

"What?"


	14. Fucking Cuddle Me

"We're gonna need to talk about that eventually." Veronica said, leading J.D. out of the nurse's office, heading home. 

"I know," He sighed. "Where are we going?" He asked.

Veronica stopped walking, thinking for a moment. "Well, I was gonna take you home, but I think maybe we should go get a slushie." She laughed at how brightly his face lit up. "Wow, you really love your slushies, huh?" 

He shrugged. "Brain freezes distract me from everything. Helps me focus." J.D. explains. "Your house or mine?" 

"Mine." Veronica answered simply, lacing her fingers with his. "Hopefully my mom won't notice. I just don't want you to see your dad right now." She added. 

He nodded, looking down at his feet. He always tried to focus on the good in life, acknowledge that the bad things were there, accept them, move on, and keep going with his life. He was currently stuck on the third step. "Okay." He kicked a small rock out of his path. "Thank you." 

"For what?" Veronica wondered.

"Being nice to me." J.D. said, looking away from her. "You've been more than nice to me. So, thank you." 

She nudged his shoulders gently. "You're welcome." She got a playful look in her eyes, grinning wildly. "I'll race you back to the house." 

"You're on!" She took off, and he waited for a moment. Soon, he started to run and he easily caught up with her. 

"Well, hello there." He found it hilarious how surprised she looked. "I think I'm offended at how shocked you look." 

She was starting to lose her breath. "No, I just didn't expect... this is embarrassing." He sped up a bit and easily beat her to the driveway. "Okay, okay, you win!" 

J.D. shrugged. "I knew I was going to." Veronica rolled her eyes teasingly, grabbing his hand once more to lead him inside. She gestured to him to be quiet, which he did, and they snuck up the stairs and into Veronica's bedroom. "What do we do now?" 

"Just... fucking cuddle me." She said, face planting onto her bed. J.D. smiled, looking down at her before joining her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her. 

"You're cute." He couldn't see, but she was blushing. Hard. "I'm sorry I got into that fight with Kurt and Ram." She didn't respond, and he assumed she'd fallen asleep. He carefully brushed a few pieces of hair out of her eyes. "Night, darling." 


End file.
